Excuse You. No, you didn’t unintentionally pass gas. But, you may be using excuses to justify your behavior. As a human behavior consultant and trainer, one of the first things I inform people is that insights into one’s behavior is not a license to do and say anything they want simply because that is just how they are and how they are made. Comments like “deal with it” or “I’m just being honest” are abusive and manipulative…and they completely miss the point of why we learn about human behavior. On the contrary, what I teach is that by understanding ourselves and others better, we can build bridges through tailored and improved communication.
The responsibility is ours for healthy communication and relationships. If people continually are offended or hurt by your words, change how you say it. If your message isn’t being received as you intended, then change your approach. That is the beauty of truly understanding and applying human behavior…we have the power within us to adapt. We aren’t being fake but rather loving when we attempt to speak in a manner that works for someone else. And here is the best part: when we do, everyone wins. You get your message across, and the person can receive it without resistance.
Communication should be a pleasant game of tennis, going back and forth. Slamming a ball down someone’s throat may win a point, but you won’t win the game of a quality conversation, and you most certainly will lose the match of a healthy relationship.
To discover your unique communication style and how to adapt to build bridges with others, get a copy of my book, Leveraging Your Communication Style!