I need to tell you something: I would prefer that you not attend my funeral when I die, unless of course you need the closure. I don’t much care to know how many people acknowledged my death as that won’t really matter at that point. No, I much rather have my friends celebrate and live life with me while I am alive.
Please be a part of my life!
I know funeral attendance is supposed to show how much impact a person made in the world, but I would prefer knowing today that I made a difference in your life this very moment. I want to share in the joys and sorrows of life together by talking on the telephone, a device often forgotten these days. My phone is often silent, lacking any ring, especially on holidays. Our busy lives do not always allow us to meet face to face, but perhaps we could Skype once in a while to catch up? I miss seeing you. I desire to hear your laugh, see the sparkle in your eye and welcome the opportunity to dry a tear when you need. I would love to feel appreciated and loved while I am still on this earth and know that I have a friend whom I can count on to walk the journey of life with me.
Let’s walk the journey of life together!
I also need you to know something else: I don’t give things to get anything in return, but I would like to know that my efforts of time, money, energy, and thoughtfulness were appreciated. When thank you’s are skipped, the opportunity to be grateful is lost because the recipient may lose site of the fact that someone cared enough to give to them, and the giver may forget that they have someone to love. Personally, I miss hand-written notes where I can see your personality on the paper and almost imagine your expression as you wrote it. Those hand-written notes and cards are like receiving a little piece of you in the mail. Again, I know we are all really busy, but I pray we do not forget to simply acknowledge kindness and the desire to return in kind.
Let’s stay in touch
In a world of technology, I fear we are becoming more isolated and alone. Postings on social media sites intended to reach the masses are not intimate nor do they connect any of us together; they merely give us information that is flat, emotionless and void of human contact. Text messages that may be convenient for someone can appear abrupt and heartless on the receiving end. Relationships are meant to be valued and treasured. Let’s not short cut the important parts of life in the name of efficiency. Relationships are a bit messy and inconvenient. But oh the rewards and joys that come from investing in one another!
Let’s make the time!
What I am asking is that you give to our friendship what you can, and I will continue to do the same by sending cards, praying for you, calling, Emailing…reaching out in love. Anyone can do more than nothing. Thoughtful gestures and cards can brighten a person’s day and remind them that they aren’t alone. How ironic in an age where people can have thousands of so-called friends that many feel isolated and alone. I hope and pray that social media loses its foothold grasp on much of the population or that we learn to balance old-fashioned communication with it before we lose our connection with one another, our community and our compassion.
Let’s be REAL friends!
As for me, if you are a person who considers me a true friend, then I shall repeat my request: BE my friend while I am living rather than a funeral participant upon my death. Friendship and life are a gift; let us not take either for granted.