You would think a simple question “What do you want?” could easily be answered, but for many of us, it is difficult. If we don’t truly know what we want, then obtaining our dreams will always be elusive. How can we tell if we have arrived if we do not understand the destination? If our goals are blurry, we won’t hit the target. Can you relate?
I grew up as a people pleaser. When my dad died at the age of 52, my mother was devastated. She didn’t have coping skills and resorted to what she new best: control and criticism. To avoid her wrath, I quickly learned to do whatever she wanted. If it made her happy, the peace was kept, and I was spared heartache and cruelty. What I wanted was never part of the equation, and I continued to make life choices based upon her needs rather than mine.
I didn’t go away to college like I wanted. Instead, I stayed local, starting off at Pikes Peak Community College and finishing up my four-year degree at Regis University at night school in Colorado Springs. I even dated and married based upon what my mom expressed mattered to her.
I should not have been surprised when my life unraveled before my very eyes because I didn’t listen to my gut or follow my dreams. After she passed away and I went through a divorce from a very abusive man at the same time, I was a shell. I didn’t know who I was and what I liked. Even going out to eat, I would defer to what other people wanted. I really didn’t know what mattered to me.
I did some heavy self-improvement work, stress management and grew my emotional intelligence so that I now can define what it is I want. How are you doing? Our dreams will slip away in a blink of an eye if we don’t stay focused on them. Even when we know what we want, life can throw us curve balls that derail timing. Don’t give up and lose hope! Keep fighting for your dreams!
Dreams are like oxygen to our souls. We need them to live. The Bible even tells us “Without purpose, people WILL perish.” Perhaps this time of uncertainly is the perfect time to go back to the big dream that has been buried underneath disappointments, hurts and frustrations. Sometimes we need help; I know I did. Someone to ask probing and insightful questions who will listen and offer tools can be invaluable. I’d go as far as to say they can be life-saving! Don’t let your dreams die. Let’s get talking about how to revive and resuscitate them! But first, let’s discover what it is you TRULY want. Call me.
A great book to help you work through some of the tough stuff is I Want My Life Back!