While walking my dog the other day, a lady approached me laughing. She said that from a distance, it appeared I wasn’t wearing pants. She was taken back by this and her mind was already racing with judgements and what she would say to me for such an atrocity. When she got closer, she realized I was wearing beige-colored corduroys. Her eyes had deceived her. We both got a good chuckle, but it was a perfect reminder about the risk of making assumptions.
How many times a day are you making assumptions? Unless you know what someone is thinking and feeling, chances are you are incorrect. None of us knows the other’s situation. Take masks, for instance. I am outraged at the shaming going on to those who are not wearing masks 24 hours a day. False assumptions like “You are narcissistic and don’t care about others” enrage me. If you were to ask, you might get an answer like “I have breathing issues and cannot wear masks” or “I am susceptible to sinus infections, and the masks increase that risk” or better yet, “I have read REAL science by REAL doctors who aren’t bought and paid for by politicians and understand that yes, they can stop droplets when sick (key) but actually do NOTHING (unless surgical grade) to prevent the spread.”
When are we going to stop making assumptions and condemning people when we do not know the whole story or even half of it? I know why – it is easier to point fingers at others than do the hard work on one’s self. The more complaining, shaming and blaming, the greater the need for self-improvement, and your time would be better spent working on yourself.
Things are usually not as they seem. Perfect marriages are seldom perfect. Just because someone is fit doesn’t mean they didn’t work their tail off to get there. Someone who appears to have a wonderful life might live with chronic pain. Successful people didn’t just arrive there. Besides a ton of hard work, they made sacrifices you weren’t willing to make. You just don’t know so quit trying to make up what you believe to be true. And most importantly, STOP passing judgement and punishing others. That lady was ready to let me have it, based on false assumptions. In this case, it become very obvious that her eyes misled her, but that isn’t always the case. We may not know the why, but it may not be for us to know. We talk about unity and extending grace to one another, but until the shaming, blaming and making accusations stop, we will forever be divided.
The Golden Rule states “Do unto others as you would want others to do to you.” So, my question is: are you someone who wants to be ridiculed and attacked? Maybe your self worth is in the toilet and you think that is all you deserve, thus why you treat others so poorly. In that case, I feel for you and pray you find inner healing and can once again love yourself. If, on the other hand, you desire kindness, then start giving it…to everyone!
A great book to help you heal and overcome the obstacles preventing you from living a fulfilling life is Defy Your Diagnosis.