My husband and I just celebrated 19 years of marriage. We were enjoying an evening dip in the pool when he said, “I’m proud of us.” I knew exactly what he was referring to and agreed. You see, we’ve faced a lot of challenges and stresses in our marriage from job losses, illness, deaths of loved ones, more illness, tons of moves, financial problems, etc. In fact, one counselor said we went through 10 years of typical marriage issues in our first year of marriage alone! We’ve been hit by all sides and yet we are still standing…together. We still talk to one another, too (ha).
My parents are both gone, so we don’t have them to cheer us on. His folks, well, they aren’t the types. We don’t have children, and most friends are too busy to be concerned with others. We’ve only had each other and God. So I do believe we should be proud that we hung in there, remained steadfast, and kept our commitments to one another despite the tough stuff thrown at us. I also believe we don’t say it or tell each other it enough.
I coach and inspire many, but it is rare that I hear such words of encouragement. His statement soothed my soul and lifted my spirits. It also reminded me how desperately human beings need kind words whether from ourself or others. When was the last time you told yourself “good job” or “way to go!”? I’m pretty sure it’s been a while and that you are overdo.
We all work hard, press through the obstacles, and balance work, life, and relationships. Don’t forget to compliment yourself from time to time, and let me say it in case you are uncomfortable: I’m proud of you…for the times you didn’t feel like going to work but did anyway…for when you exercised despite the many excuses…for when you held your tongue as well as the times you spoke up for yourself. ..I’m proud of you!
If you are fortunate enough to have a special someone in your life, take your relationship to the next level with Celebrating Your Marriage written by Dr. Dallas E. Shafer and myself. His many years as a counselor and pastor combined with my human behavior background make this a great tool to increase intimacy.