I have been an advocate of selfcare long before it was popular. I was forced into it by having much of my health taken away from me at a young age. Like many things, I believe the pendulum as swung too far over now, and people are becoming selfish in the name of selfcare. Selfcare has never been at the expense of others, obligations, family, friends, etc. In fact, at its core, selfcare is what allows us to contribute and give in life. We were put on this planet with live with one another, not to hunker down.
I had a client in Southern California who booked her days with pedicures, manicures, massages, chiropractic appoints and then saw me for personal training complaining that she just didn’t have any time for herself. She then would pick up fast food for her kids because she didn’t have the time. Um, what?
No, this is not selfcare but self-centeredness of the highest order! I know for many, selfcare may be a new concept, so it is understandable that one would go overboard at first. This is typical for men, in particular. They go, go, and go and then get cranky because they haven’t taken any time for themselves. They get upset with their family, and go on a vacation by themselves without any regard to the family. They made the mistake of not doing daily doses of selfcare and let everything pile up.
When done properly, selfcare is not selfish. It is doing what you know you need to do when you need to it. It is getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, exercising, and filling up your spiritual tank. When we do regular maintenance, we can handle emotional issues more maturely. We are kinder with one another and extend more grace.
At first glance, we might say that everyone needs more selfcare by the way everyone is behaving, but I think it is the opposite. I think the shutdown has pulled everyone inward and focusing on their fears. This, consequently, makes them spend more time on themselves…forget everyone else! We are becoming a “every man for themselves” nation, it is alarming. It is also why I think people are sad and depressed. They are doing everything they can for themselves, but they do not have joy.
Like most things, it is about balance. If all we do is things for ourselves, we are missing out on the blessing of giving. Yet without selfcare, we cannot fully love others. The key is knowing yourself and what recharges your batteries. Then, make time on a regular basis to do those things so that you don’t find yourself short, frustrated and ready to blow a gasket!
I need nature, exercise, creative outlets and time with God. Every day I carve out time for each of them, but I am still serving others. It isn’t one or the other but both together that make a joy-filled life.
Have you ever envied someone else? How easy it is to assume others have it easier than us. They got all the breaks, weight comes off easy for them, good fortune always finds them, etc. Social media has only perpetuated envy because all we see in posts in the best of everyone’s life. I certainly don’t post the fights I have with my husband or the days when my body hurts beyond words. No, most of us only allow the word to see what we want them to see. Envy is a slippery slope that leads us down the hill to bitterness, and nothing good happens down there.
Take me. On the outside, I look like I have the perfect life with a healthy body; yet, I have had to fight tooth and nail for my health numerous times. It isn’t easy nor is it perfect. It is my life, nonetheless, and I work with what I have. Whining about it or wishing it were different just wastes energy.
When I’m scrolling through social media, I try to keep in mind that everyone is struggling with something. We all have those hidden parts of our life we just don’t want the world to know because they are too painful. I recall a pastor sharing the story about everyone on the planet placing their troubles into a huge pile. As people placed their problems on the mound, they looked at some of the horrific, horrible issues others were dealing with and decided to pick theirs back up. They didn’t want to risk getting something worse and decided what they had wasn’t so bad after all.
You see, God knows our burdens, and He knows us intimately. He knows what we can and cannot handle, and He never gives us struggles without walking them with us. No need to envy. We have what we need when we need it. And when others seem to have more, be happy for them and celebrate it! Your turn just might be next.
I have been in business for over 20 years now, and I have always under promised and over delivered. I am shocked to see businesses doing just the opposite. “We’ll get that to you in two days,” and it takes two weeks.” Or, “Someone will return your call within 24 hours,” but you don’t hear from anyone in a week and have to call back. The worst of it is that they don’t apologize for it! This is not acceptable.
I get it. Many companies are understaffed, and getting parts is a challenge. This only emphasizes my point that much more: manage expectations of your customers! Don’t promise what you know you cannot deliver. Customers can work with what they know, but no one likes to feel taken advantage of or ignored. They will take their money elsewhere.
Those companies who treat customers with respect and honor their word will ultimately thrive through all of this while the rest are left struggling to stay afloat. Employees don’t want to disappoint customers and will grow weary of being set up to fail, ultimately seeking employment elsewhere.
High turnover rate of customers and employees is always a sign of something deeper. As a talent management specialist, I can help you get to the root cause. Give me a call to create a winning culture!
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