We all know how yoga can help us stretch, strengthen, and stabilize, but did you know the practice of meditation can also dislodge deeply buried feelings? If you have ever stuffed your feelings, they embed within your body. Over time without knowing it, these unresolved emotions can turn dark, ugly, angry, and they often are the cause of insomnia and chronic pain.
When in tune with our bodies, we pay attention to the signs. We listen to the body’s whisper. When we have the space and quiet time in our lives to reflect, we are aware of our feelings. Unfortunately, many are too busy and extremely stressed to the point of not recognizing the signs, and they ignore their built-up feelings. The body ends up screaming, and it is a recipe for a meltdown!
When we do finally slow down and breathe, what we haven’t dealt with can rise to the surface and surprise us. Know if you feel a sense of overwhelm, sadness, or even cry during restorative breathing, this is natural. It is more than okay…it is necessary for you to release and let go of what was never intended to be held in. During your quiet time, I encourage you to lean into your emotions and look at them objectively. Do not judge them, excuse them, belittle them, or feed them. Simply feel them. Then ask God to reveal to you His truths about them. Here’s where things can get challenging: you may be causing them by what you are doing or not doing.
In order to feel better and remove the toxic bitterness and hurt, you must be willing to acknowledge your part and then be willing to do things differently. Continuing to sweep your feelings under the carpet will not only steal your joy, but it will wreak havoc on all your relationships, whether you realize it or not.
The good news is Jesus walks every step of the way with you! He will hold your hand, put an arm around you, and if needed, carry you. Believe in Him and His promises! The first step is committing time every day to just be. Start here with an open heart and receptive mind.
Lucy is a 2014 movie starting Scarlett Johansson as Lucy and Morgan Freeman as Professor Norman, who specializes in the mind’s potential. Lucy makes a bad decision to become a drug mule, and things go wrong quickly when the synthetic drug ruptures inside her body, unlocking her mind’s full potential. It is quite fascinating to watch her evolution unfold.
The movie is rated R for a reason: strong violence, disturbing images, and sexuality. Keep that in mind should you decide to watch it. What captivated me is how she changes emotionally. Yes, her capabilities go beyond anything we can comprehend, but her heart expands as well. She basically knows everything that ever was or will be, and in the end, she feels she has learned the million-dollar question: why are we here?
She concludes we are here to share with one another…from knowledge of how to do things to family traditions to our faith and glory stories. She doesn’t use that word, but she infers to how we cannot continue if we don’t pass it on. We are intended to help those who come after us, and if we are hording our information and experiences, we are dooming society. In other words, we aren’t here just for ourselves!
God placed each of us at a specific time in history for a reason, and we must not forget the significance of connecting with others—not to take but to give. I have learned much through my trials and tribulations, and I always want to pass it on to others. Why else would I have had to endure such tragedy if not to benefit someone else? It really isn’t about us.
Take a closer look at your life. What have you learned? What ah-ha could you share with someone? How could you invest in someone’s life? I think when we reframe our situations around others, we see things more clearly…from a heaven perspective instead of earth. God’s intent is to bring heaven to earth, and He needs our help. Never shy away from telling your glory stories! By the way, I’d love to hear yours.
As promised in one of my recent blogs, I will share how to give constructive feedback. If you missed “How to Receive Constructive Feedback” check out “Lorraine’s Blogs” on my website and type the title in the search bar.
First and foremost, praise can be given publicly, but criticism or critique should only be given in private. Period. I don’t care what personality style you are, no one likes to be chastised in front of other people. Second, each style will handle feedback differently. As a leader or manager, you must understand how best to frame it up.
If you have a Determine, Driver or D type, you will want to says it plainly without a whole lot of fluff. Get to the point without coming across as authoritative or combative. D’s have big egos and can get ticked off when they are belittled. Stick to the facts but offer a way out. Meaning, tell them what bar they must clear to improve. Challenge them, and they typically will rise to the occasion. A caution: if they did what you asked, met the goals set before them, and you changed the rules on them, expect push back. D’s can get quite aggressive, so if you are more reserved, you may need to script out your conversation.
When talking to Influencing, Interactive or I people, break the ice. Don’t jump head into feedback. If possible, practice the sandwich technique: positive feedback, constructive feedback, and end on a positive note. If your feedback is severe, an I might lash out with emotions ranging from crying, yelling, blaming, or walking out. Do not compare them to other people but stay focused on them in a warm and friendly manner. Establish together what needs to be done moving forward.
The Steady, Supportive or S folks may not say a word to your feedback, but silence does not mean acceptance! You will want to be very specific, give accounts, and probe with questions. You will need to pull them into the conversation to get a read on how they took it. Maintain a soft approach without any aggression. They have a servant’s heart and want to do their best; explain to them what that looks like and how they can do better in the future. Be sure to reaffirm them as a team member.
Lastly, Correct, Calculating or C’s might give off a cold shoulder, and to them, feedback is criticism. If you do not outline the facts and give concrete examples, they will consider your feedback bunk, false, or baseless. Keep emotions out of it, and be precise yet detailed. They will question you and drill down because that is their nature. Be willing to discuss examples and outline a step-by-step plan for moving forward.
Don’t know what D-I-S-C means? I so happened to be a certified human behavior consultant who can help you identify your team members and equip you on how to communicate, motivate, and lead them. I’d be happy to explain what this looks like and how we get started. Give me a call today!
Has your difficult path caused you to be prayed out? Are you at a loss for words and feeling defeated? I can relate, and I wrote a booklet designed to offer hope and encouragement by reminding us of God’s promises. Get your copy of Walking with God Through Difficult Times for only $5!